I don’t even try anymore.
Guy at bar I am flirting with: Yeah, I have a pet. I have a cat.
Wicked Drunk Me: A cat! What is it’s name?
GABIAFW: (sort of awkwardly laughs)…it’s name is Bitey.
WDM: BITEY! I have a dead possum named Bitey.
GABIAFW: You um, you—
WDM: HE LIVES ON OUR SHELF.
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Here’s the thing: we DO have a dead (stuffed) possum named Bitey. And he does live on our shelf. Also, this is what I do to flirt now. Also, it worked.
